FIRSTS THOUGHTS
I spent a lot of time debating whether to take this module as there was and still is an initial feeling of doom when the thought of performing in a space entirely on my own and everything is reliant on me, myself and I.
The reason I decided to take this module is to push myself out of that comfort zone and security of working in a group. To get over the feeling of vulnerability and proceed with confidence in my work.
When thinking of my final performance I knew I wanted to include my love of singing.
A few ideas have been floating around in my head but taking inspiration from the recent movie La La Land and the character of Mia. Her determination as she struggles as an actor in a world of competitiveness.
It was the audition scene that I took a lot of inspiration from and her journey throughout the film, mainly in her determination through attending all of these auditions and facing the constant rejection.
Relating this back to myself as a drama student and now leaving university with the daunting choice of what to do with the rest of my life. The pressure of how the ideal dream is of being an actor is not considered to be a secure and stable job and whether you pursue or sacrifice the dream is the decision you have to make.
Personally I can’t ever imagine myself sitting behind a desk filling out paperwork or answering phones. I will do what is necessary to accomplish my hopes but there’s only one chance so why not try and if I fail, I fail. I can at least say I tried.
I like the idea of the process of rejection after rejection and how casting agents and directors will cut you off without a care even if you’re in the middle of the song or the first sentence of a script. It’s the brutality of the way this system runs that I find interesting because sometimes you get the rare moment that instead of the word ‘No’ or ‘Next’ it’s a ‘Yes’.
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